Published December 18, 2005
Free muffins to anyone that can guess the subject.
She's His Birth Stone
They met in passing,
in a line where crucifixes choked the streets,
and shot jolts at the moon.
Puppetshows of power in place of vespers.
A streetlight love,
where blackouts glitter like emotion would,
had it not burned out.
Champagne glasses made of shards.
I've been hiding someone from you.
She's your fault.
She was his legacy,
a two way mirror and he's on the wrong side,
swearing its like a movie.
Fate like birth stones, sad like gravestones.
Killing in the name,
of inconvenience and everything unsaid,
like war on the caged.
We'll lose like they lost our fight for freedom.
I've been hiding someone from you.
She's your fault.
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140,552 Literary Works • 673,422 Reviews
I think it's about a woman contemplating an abortion, if I'm not mistaken.
"Killing in the name,
of inconvenience and everything unsaid,
like war on the caged.
We'll lose like they lost our fight for freedom."
War on the caged. I like that.
I'm not very familiar with styles of poetry, but if that's abstract that's what I like to read!
It's very clever and casts so many thoughts, a bit too clever for me so all I can say is it's very,very good! I understand why your such a perfectionist with structure and imagery when you critique! I understand totally if you, yourself, write like THAT!
Aha!
So this line clues it then:
Killing in the name,
of inconvenience and everything unsaid
You're pretty much on the right track. Basically its about abortion, but if you saw something else in it then thats great.
I get it. I think - correct me if I'm wrong. They had a child together, but he never knew about her (Snoink: that's where the 'she' part comes in, I do believe.)
As for the rest...well I liked it, I really thought it was good...but then I'm good with abstract.
I like the way that words have to be played with to get the meaning right; I love it when this kind of thing isn't spelled out for me.
I had loads of ideas of exactly what could be meant.....he thought it was as ridiculous, bizarre as a film, it was like it was scripted....and did he kill the child?.....
....I've got so much in my head and I'm worried I'm getting it wrong lol....
Focus on the work 'birth' and that'll take you halfway.
Er... does it have to do with "she"?
;)
I think it's really really abstract right now. I, personally, would like more details, because I'm at a loss of what you're talking about and I want muffins.